WHR Weirdos
by AnimeFreaks13
Summary: Comedy has no base. Just something that happens when you run out of ideas. Throw in a baby. All those WHR Weirdos.
1. Default Chapter

It's a hot summer day at the STN-J. It's noon and everyone is at work except Dojima and Amon... but they all knew where Amon was. He was buying ice cream.

"Okay.. watch the spoon Sakaki.." Robin waved a spoon in his face. It lit on fire. "Ouch! It burnt me!" she dropped it. It fell simmering to the floor. Sakaki watched it burn a little then looked at her. "Um... I'll let you borrow my watch if you promise not to ignite it." She thought about it then, "Ok.." And he handed her the watch, nervously.

"Okay Sakaki... watch the watch...watch it go back and forth. Your getting sleepy.. very sleepy.. on the count of 3 ,when I snap my fingers, you will act like a chicken." Robin dangled the watch on a chain in front of Sakaki. "One.." she started the count and Sakaki chicken squawked. "Two." Another Squawk. "Three." Sakaki made a sick squawking noise. Robin snapped her fingers and Sakaki collapsed on the floor.

Michael was standing next to Robin and they both bent down to look at the motionless Sakaki. "Is he dead?" Michael poked him. Then Robin joined in. He wasn't moving but they kept poking. Then suddenly Dojima came charging in the door and pushed something slowly next to the wall, but nobody noticed because they were poking Sakaki.

"Man I'm hot. Do we have any ice cream?" she walked to the kitchen. "Hey! Where'd Our ice cream go?!" she slammed the freezer shut. Michael answered, having noticed her. "We misplaced it this morning, Amon went to buy some.. is he supposed to act like a live chicken or a dead one Robin?" "I don't know.." They tugged at his hair to see if it worked.

Dojima walked out into the main room where everyone else was and Karasuma became stiff, stuck a spoon in her mouth and threw a ice bowl toward the others. "I don't have any ice cream, it was all them! They ate it! I swear!" she rambled, her front almost soaked in chocolate ice cream. "YA RIGHT!" Dojima attacked her. "YOU ATE MY ICE CREAM!" "Ahhhhhh!" Karasuma tried to run but was too slow.

The other 2 were making Sakaki sit up when the ice cream bowl hit him in the head and he sprang to life squawking. "Ah!!!!!" Screamed Michael and Robin jumping backwards as Sakaki started trying franticly to fly away from them. Michael and Robin ran around him in circles screaming as he tried to fly away / bite them as they passed him. Soon they ran into each other and stopped momentarily to hold their heads and fall over. "Ow! Michael!" Robin yelled. "Watch where you're going Robin!" Michael screamed. They started to argue and attack each other while Sakaki the chicken examined the ice cream bowl. "Wuak?" he look around it. "Auk!" he peered inside it and started eating ice cream, or what was left. "Auk! Auk! Auk!" he flapped around the room trying to get the ice cream bowl off his head. "Auk!" he squawked.

The elevator binged and Amon walked in with one bag. It had 2 bowls of Chocolate ice cream. As soon as he walked in, Dojima and Karasuma jumped him and stole the bag, now fighting over new ice cream bowls. "Mine!" "No it's Mine!" BANG! CLANG!

Amon eyed them, then looked at Robin hitting Michael as they fought about who hit who. Last he saw Sakaki run around him a few times then run into a wall and pass out while the ice cream bowl rolled off his head when he hit the ground, his face now cover in chocolate ice cream dots. "I... don't think I wanna know.." Amon mumbled as he walked over and sat down on the couch. He clicked on the TV and watched while pots and pans fell with loud clangs to the floor and people were thrown into walls and people stepping on lifeless chicken boys without anyone noticing.

Amon sighed and turned off the TV. He couldn't hear it anyway. He went over and grabbed both Ice Cream bowls and put them in the freezer, then grabbed both Dojima and Karasuma. He had a plan to make everything work out. mwahahaha.

* * *

Robin was tied to the ice box sideways, Michael was trapped, his computer mere inches out of reach, to a big block of marble, Karasuma was tied up and stuffed in the couch under 20 big cushions, and Dojima was tied sitting in a chair about 5 feet from a table with her make up and magazines. Big blocks of cement tied to her feet and the chair legs bolted to the ground. Amon was in the meeting room sending emails to Michaels computer. Michael was straining to reach his computer keyboard but failed every time. "No!!!!!! Torture! Must check e-mails! Must! Augh!!!" he reached as far as possible and failed again.

Robin was seemingly enjoying herself besides the fact that she couldn't see much and her back was cold. "Hmm.. this is nice.." she hummed a song and smiled. "What's so great you can smile!" Dojima squealed, trying to scoot over to the nearby table. A spray bottle was in her face and spraying her with water about every 5 minutes, her make up running. Amon was pulling a string right by the wall that led all the way out to Dojima, just to torture her. Karasuma yelled something, but from under all fluffy softness, you couldn't hear a word she said. "What?!" Dojima tried to turn and look at her but fell over and now her legs hurt from being forced in the wrong direction by the blocks on her feet and the chair that pinned her to the floor.

All was going well until the thing Dojima had set by the wall started making noise. It's wailed and cried and screamed and cried. "Oh no! Renee!" Dojima wormed around to look at the carriage. Amon walked out of his room and spotted the crib. "What is that noise?!" he yelled as he walked over to the carriage. When he saw the baby he picked it up and glared at the others. "Who brought a baby to WORK?!" he bellowed and the baby started screaming louder. "Amon!" Dojima had wormed a few more inches toward them. "Your scaring her!" she tried biting through her bindings. "Her?" Amon looked at the baby wail. It then sneezed on him. "Augh!" he threw it up in the air and ran into the kitchen to get something to disinfect his clothing. "Amon!!!!!!!!!" Dojima roared.

The baby screamed in terror and.. whatever else. Amon was so worried about his jacket that he didn't notice Robin wasn't on the icebox anymore. The baby was starting to calm down as a soft song started. Amon walked back in the room to see Robin holding the baby and singing to it. Everyone else was looking at her too. How'd she get free? Why was she singing to the baby? and What song was she singing? or... _Wow.. Robin's voice is beautiful_. Sakaki the chicken boy woke up and sat up, rubbing his head. "Ow.. did I get stepped on? Get the number of that truck." he muttered then he noticed the singing. "Who's.. Robin?" he sat there watching her rock the baby.

The song was in Italian but soon the baby was making no noise what so ever and Robin lay it back in it's bed. Smiling she undid everyone ropes simultaneously. "Uh.. thanks Robin.." Karasuma said as she escaped from the cushions. "Yes!" Michael jumped at his computer. "Your amazing Robin.. Hey! Wait! All these emails are from you Amon! and why do they all say Gullible on them?!" he glared at the man standing in the kitchen door way. Dojima hadn't barely moved.. but Sakaki came and had her stand up. "You ok Doj?" he dusted her off. "Fine.." she said half there. Sakaki went to go wake Amon up when he tripped on the chair Dojima had been in and fell down, accidentally kicking Dojima in the rear. "Why you little!" Dojima whirled around and started beating the crap out of Sakaki.

Robin walked over to Amon and snapped her fingers. He blinked a few times and then moved out of the doorway. He was speechless. That was Robin singing? Wow..


	2. The Horror!

Before I begin.. Something about writing Comedy that, like this story, just popped up in my head. Comedy is like what happens on a talk show when they run out of things to say. This is one of those times and I will just get on with the ... comedy.

* * *

So while Sakaki laid motionless on the couch and Dojima blew steam out of her nostrils every time she saw him, Karasuma... was writing a letter. Why? Cause she would be scolding Amon but can't for fear of the hand that always laid on his gun. She read the letter. Sounded good. She glanced at Amon, shuddered, and threw the whole idea out the window... no.. literally... she chucked the letter out the open window.. I'm serious..

Amon saw a ball of paper fly past the windows and stared at where he'd last seen it. That was Robin singing...... He kept staring... and... staring... and... staring... and.... goes into daze while staring falls over and wakes up oops.. well.. you get the idea.

Sakaki finally got feeling back into his body and jumped up. "Ya Hoo! I can feel again!" He stretched and jumped and punched air. Ice ran up his back and he knew he was in trouble. He turned slowly to look at Dojima. She was glaring ice daggers at him. "You can feel huh? Well... let's see if we can't fix that..." she said, standing up. Sakaki flinched before darting to the elevator. He punched the button a few times. Dojima started walking faster toward him.

"Come on, come on!" He shouted. The elevator was taking too long. He darted for the stairs. He ran down the stairs like lightning. "Oh no you don't!" Dojima shouted, moving at the speed of light, she ran down the stairs after him. As she ran up to him, Sakaki tripped and fell out a window. Dojima skidded to a halt and ran back to the window. Peering out, they were about 3 stories up.

"Sakaki?" she glanced around the ground. She didn't see him. "HHHHHeeeeelllllppppp!!!!" Sakaki was hanging on the next window, legs flailing. "Wha?!" Dojima nearly fell out herself. "How the heck did you get over there?"

Sakaki grinned.

"So. You do care about me!" He grinned and put his feet on the wall and looked like he was squatting. "Who do you think you are? Spider Man?" she quickly grabbed her gun and shot. The wind sill Sakaki was holding onto broke and he was sent plummeting to the ground. "Jerk." Dojima mumbled as she walked back up. Sakaki lay on the ground, very much in pain.

* * *

Robin made coffee. She sat down on the couch and took a sip. "Yuck!" She made this face. . XoX Amon looked up and grinned. She looked hilarious. Michael jumped. "What?" He looked around. Robin calmed down and looked at the 2 guys.. who were.. basically in the same place. "Nothing.." She pointed to her glass. "Tea.." she grinned. Then she looked quite surprised and shocked. OoO "Amon.. are you.. Smiling?" She stared at her partner. Michael went all confuzled and looked too.

Gasp!

The Horror!

The evil world of all that be!......

--.....

ok enough of that..

Amon went wide eyed OoO liked Robin and quickly went back to monotone and staring.. and staring... and.. oh not this again..

Anyway, Robin dumped out her .. tea.. and looked around. "Michael?" Michael looked at her. "Coffee?" She looked like a lost puppy. Quite a cute lost puppy, Michael thought. Quickly shaking that aside. "No coffee." he replied in the same kind of pathetic child voice she asked in. "All gone.. Dojima and Karasuma flung it out the window." He said with a slightly cartoony way of talking.

Robin got confuzled again. "Hm?" Michael looked around at the room. "Well. They hit that wall with the pots and pans. One flew across the room and hit the wall with the plant half way up. The planet broke and dirt flew to the kitchen again where the stove caught fire. It ignited the shelf just above it and tilted enough to smash up on one side of the shelf above that and send the coffee flying out the open window right next to it.." Michael grinned. Robin put her hands on her hips.

"How do you know that. You were beating me up." She scolded. "Um.." He stood there for a moment, looking at the ceiling like there was something cool about it. "I don't know.. Hey.. did you notice we have food coloring and gum up there?" He laughed. Amon rolled his eyes and Robin sighed. She grabbed her coat and walked out. "Your going..?" Amon asked. "To get coffee." She went through the elevator that Sakaki had called and headed down just as Dojima was returning.


	3. Coffee, Jokes, and Sakaki's Death

Sorry for the extremely long wait. I have school and more stories than I can't keep track of.. no, not only the ones I've posted.. I have a few I haven't posted because I'm not sure about where they're going.. Anyway.. here you go.. ::Yawn:: I'm tired.

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Coffee, Jokes, and Sakaki's Death

Robin came in late at night when only Michael was in and set the coffee on the self. The self tipped, having not been fixed yet, and the coffee started to slid toward the open window. Robin quickly grabbed it and forced the self into place and tried again, it tilted, slipped, she grabbed and repeated. Now she was fixated that it wasn't going to work and looked around. She went to the refrigerator and opened it.

No.. cold coffee.. you don't put coffee in a fridge. She closed it and looked around. Cupboard? Full to the brim and when she tried squeezing it in there, 3 things fell out with it. Soda fridge. No. Also packed full, and cold. To also note the fact that when she opened it, soda cans attacked her. She shoved the cans back in and quickly shut the door.

This was harder than she thought. She gazed around again and spotted a spot on the counter and went to set it down, but noticed a beetle crawl across it, then noticed it was soapy and had dried food on it. It needed to be cleaned. She tried setting it on the coffee table, but what if someone came in before her, saw it, and drank it before she got in!? She ran around the room in a frantic worry. Then she spotted a blank shelf and set it there. She turned around quite happy, and walked away. As she began to leave the kitchen area, the shelf tipped and the coffee went out the window. Robin realized too late what shelf she had set it on and could not save her precious coffee.

"No.." she cried softly as she leaned to the window and looked at her coffee far below, open and everywhere. "No coffee." Michael's voice drifted over in the cartoon-ish voice he'd used earlier. Robin seemed enraged. She glared at him and he cringed. He really didn't feel like being set on fire. "COFFEE!" Robin shouted in Michael's face. He shrieked like a little girl with a pink balloon and blueberry lollipop in hand.

Robin growled loudly and stomped out again to buy even MORE coffee. Michael sweat dropped and tossed the balloon and lollipop away. He remembered how much he loved blueberry lollipops and ran back to the trash can and spotted it down there with a piece of his bubblegum on it and a piece of paper from The Chief on it. He grinned and pulled it out. He stared at it, pulled the gum and paper off, and licked it once before finding it wasn't blueberry but blue raspberry. He chucked it again. Then he yawned and went back to bed, still not noticing the rim of his shirt was sizzling.

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The next morning, Amon walked in and stared at Michael. He was wearing the same shirt from last night. Amon raised and eyebrow but cast it aside and went to the conference room. Too many strange things had happened in the last few days. He didn't even want to think about it.

He didn't know Dojima was already there. The slacker wanted revenge for her makeup. Ya.. And for Renee. Amon sat down on the comfy chair and a fart rang out. Michael ran in and stared wildly at Amon. The hunter stood up melancholy and turned to the seat. He picked up the camouflaged black cushion and threw it at Michael. Then he walked to the back of the room and grabbed Dojima by the neck. She cringed.

"It wasn't me!" She screamed. Amon put his hand in her purse and took out a lipstick case. Followed by a compact, a razor, mascara, and ... an ink bottle? Apparently Amon knew it was there because he pinned Dojima to the wall by her neck and opened it.

"No! No!!!!!!" Dojima squealed. "Ink doesn't come off clothing for days! Not to mention I can't walk around with ink on my face all day!" But Amon was already camouflaging her face the same color of the cushion.

"Oh I get it.." Michael said, tossing the cushion in the trash. "That's how you knew she had it! The cushion was black!" He laughed. Until Amon threw the ink brush at him and got his face covered too. Dojima giggled from her spot by the wall. Amon had let her go.

Michael growled. He walked up to Dojima and slapped her. "This is your fault!" He yelled. "No it's your fault! You're the one you had to come out and talk!" Dojima yelled back, slapping him too. Amon spoke. "No.. It's his fault for not telling me you were here and then your fault for putting that horrid object, that should never have been made, on my seat." The two stood there and watched him walk away. "And Michael.." Amon added.

"Ya?" "Never mind.. I'm sure Karasuma will tell you." Amon grinned evilly and sat on the couch.

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Robin came in before Karasuma and sat by Amon. Amon kept glancing at her due to her act of singing the day before and he still didn't quiet believe that he'd heard it.

Karasuma came in moments before Sakaki.

"Wow Ms. Karasuma.. I'm surprised you were so late.. You had to come in with me!" Sakaki laughed. He received a punch in the face from Karasuma. "Hey.. Ow.. why does everyone want to hurt me!" He complained as he sat at his seat in the conference room.

Karasuma walked up to Dojima and gave her a towel. "What? Is it going to rain?" Michael asked. This time he got slapped. "Geeze.. you girls.." he stopped there when all three women glared at him. "Okay.. okay.. just kidding.." he sweat dropped and quickly went back to his computer.

"Thanks Karasuma.." Dojima smiled and rocked the towel. Amon blinked and stared at it.. he stared and stared... and.. WHY EVERY CHAPTER! (clears throat) well.. anyway.. Amon blinked again and realized just what that was.

"It's here.. in the office? Again?" Amon asked with slight nervousness again.. Would Robin have to sing again? Part of him hoped so.. the other part dreaded it... Why? (shrug) Who knows.

"Yes. And don't go throwing her in the air again!" Dojima lowered her voice so the baby wouldn't wake up. Amon groaned.

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Later on, Sakaki was going to sit on the couch and didn't know that Renee was on it. He sat down next to her and it woke her up. The baby screeched and wailed and cried and Sakaki didn't know what was wrong!

"Ssshh.. Ssshh... Ah come on.. SSsshhHH.. Please.. What? What is it?! Please don't cry.. Ah man! Dojima's gonna.."

"SAKAKI! What Did You Do!?" Dojima glared down on the rookie. "Nothing! I swear!" Sakaki said, jumping up. This only caused the baby to cry harder and Dojima beat Sakaki so hard he made a dent in the wall. He hit the floor and didn't move..

Robin ran over and picked up the baby. Amon braced for it. He listened for it.. but he didn't hear it.. The baby shut up.. but why? Robin wasn't singing.

Robin was feeding her. Feeding? How did she know it was hungry? As though answering his question, Dojima smiled and said "Robin's Maternal Instincts To The Rescue Again!" Amon flinched. Maternal instincts? 'Groan..'

Sakaki still wasn't moving from his now face down position on the floor. Dojima was getting worried. "S...Sakaki?" she asked. He didn't even seem to be moving by breathing.. Dojima ran over.. "S...Sakaki? Okay.. stop messing around. I mean it! Stop playing.." she rolled him over.

He wasn't breathing. "Sakaki!" Dojima listened for a heartbeat. She preformed CPR. After she put her mouth on Sakaki for the second time Sakaki's eyes blinked open, finally recovering from his state of shock. He noticed Dojima was basically kissing him and kissed her. This woke Dojima up from her frantic stupor and she slapped him.

"You Jerk!" "What! You were the one kissing me!" "I was trying to get you to breathe!" "Well at least you care." Sakaki grinned like he had when he had been hanging off the outside wall. "Jerk.. All guys.. Are jerks!" Dojima growled as she got up and walked away from Sakaki.

Michael strode over and sat by Amon. "You ever notice..." Amon side glanced at the hacker. "That we can never say anything about them.. but they don't even stutter.. when they say stuff about us?" Michael asked. Amon grunted.

"Aren't we equally numbered?" "Grunt." "And we're guys." "Hn." "Guys are stronger than girls. Right?" "Um hm." "So why are we afraid of them?" Amon didn't respond. "Well?" Michael asked. Amon looked at him through side glance again.

"Michael.. It's a new century.. We may be stronger, but they are scarier and, no matter how I don't want to admit it, they could probably kick ... your butt." Amon was NOT going to say they could beat him, thought he knew they could. "Oh You're peachy Amon." Michael said, heading back to his computer.

"I am never peachy." Amon said with a smirk behind the hackers back. "I know." Michael sighed and went back to listening to music.


End file.
